A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself. "You know love" she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby. "She turns to her husband and says....."Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself. "He thinks about it for a bit and then says in a soft voice........"well.....there's nothing wrong with your eyesight".
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4 engineers were travelling in a car. Suddenly the car engine stopped in the middle of nowhere. The first guy, a chemical engineer, wanted to check the engine oil to see if that is the root cause of the problem. The 2nd guy, a electrical engineer, suggested to check the fuses and wiring to see if that is the actual root cause of the problem. The 3rd guy, a mechanical engineer, suggested to check the overhead cam to see if that is the root cause of the problem. The 4th guy, a Microsoft software engineer , did not know what to do so he said....." may be if we close all windows and then reopen them, things will run again"
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A store that sells husbands has just opened in Bkt Bintang where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love, kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor No. 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart and have a nice day!
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