Jokes Part 16

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open."Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse shit onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."

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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

Broiled Missionary: $ 10.00 Fried Explorer: $ 15.00 Baked Politician: $ 100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politician?" The waiter replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?"

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A guy phones up his boss' house, but gets the boss' wife instead. He asks to speak to her husband."I'm afraid he died earlier today," she says. The next day, the man calls again and asks for the boss."I told you," the wife replies, "he died yesterday." The next day, he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.

By this time, the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I've already told you twice that he died. Why do you keep calling?" "Because," he replies, laughing, "I just love hearing it!"