Malaysian Jokes

Mr. Samy Vellu went for the recent UN meeting. He represented the Malaysian PM. All nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2010. Here are some of the conversations : Chinese Delegate " By the year 2007, China will start their moon exploration project ". Russian Delegate " We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon". George Bush " We the United States will also explore the moon for the fifth time ." Malaysian Delegate " By the year 2008, Malaysia will explore the sun." There was a long silence. Bush stood up and asked the Malaysian delegate : " Isn't it too hot to explore the sun ?" Samy Vellu ( after a long silence...) " We will do it in the night, like JKR Bahagian Jalan done.".

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Ah Seng wants to make love with Ah Lian but he is afraid that Ah Lian will get pregnant, so he approaches his friend Ah Beng for advice. Ah Beng said "Aiya, very easy one lah. Nah, take this packet of condoms and follow the instructions, nothing will happen one." So Ah Seng takes the condom and at night makes love with Ah Lian. Two months later, Ah Seng comes to look for Ah Beng and tells him that Ah Lian is pregnant. "Cannot be what, did you follow the instructions or not?" asks Ah Beng. "Na -bei! Got lah. The box says "Stretch the condom over organ before intercourse, I got no organ, so I stretch it over my piano loh."

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Selepas acara penutup Sukan Olimpik, pemberita Malaysia pun membuat liputan dengan menemuramah ketua kontijen Malaysia ke Athens di Lapangan Terbang KLIA sebaik sahaja kontijen Malaysia tiba. Pemberita :"Adakah pasukan Malaysia berjaya membawa balik emas, perak atau gangsa?" Ketua kontijen: " Ya, kita berjaya bawak balik emas, besar lagi!!" Pemberita :"Yang mana satu?" Ketua kontijen :" Tuuuu Haaaah" (sambil menunding jari ke arah Boeing 747-400 Malaysian Airline Systems)

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Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"? You know, that very little 600 cc car ?? Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US , so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr M checked with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA . After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think this 'Kernchill' is too small for us Americans." Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America ." Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returned to Malaysia . The next day he called the number and a lady answered,"TOYS R US" can I help you?"

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Di zaman pemerintahan Melayu Melaka, Maharaja Cina telah menghantar rombongan ke Melaka untuk mengiringi Puteri Hang Li Po. Kerana Maharaja Cina suka akan nombor 8, dia memastikan ada 8 Hang semuanya.
1) Hang Li Po
2) Hang Tuah
3) Hang Jebat
4) Hang Kasturi
5) Hang Lekir
6) Hang Lekiu ...

siapakah 2 lagi Hang itu? . . . . . . . . . .

Hang Tanya
Hang Bodo