Jokes Part 2

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."

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ONE DAY at TAN TOCK SENG HOSPITAL - Center for Communicable Disease in Singapore This story was told by a nurse...and she swears this really happened on her ward. A man suspected of SARs is lying in bed with an mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr ******, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The Head Nurse was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so she marched over to inquire what was wrong. "Nurse," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse of long-standing, the Head Nurse was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pyjama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pyjamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with your testicles!!!" At this the man pulled off his mask and asked again, "I SAID!!!!!: Are my test results back???"